Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Wednesday Morning Dreams

Wednesday Morning Dreams

Checking the mirror every hour or so to see if I am still here. 
Still real. 
Why? I don't know why. 
Closure. I am all about closure. 
I need it. I never get it. It's an elusive balm. 
Must heal myself, I think. Nobody else can do it.

In my dream we were on a two-seated bicycle. 
I let you lead. Not without an argument, you can be sure. 
I just... acquiesced. 
I wanted you to know I trusted you. I wanted you to feel like you could show me something new. 
Sand. Waves. Beach. Water. I loved you so much. A warm breeze with fresh sea wind. 
Family. Rivers flowing within. Without. 
All around.

Love. Love. I. Loved. You. I loved you. Then.

Debris. Old cars in piles and piles. 
Everything shaded to the sunset pink swiped across the skyline.
This is not what I wanted. 
This dream is too vivid. You are too alive.
Your spirit is still so alive in me.
Your mother is so kind. She smiles like a child.

I told you we had children.
We don't.
I wanted you to stay.
You wouldn't.
You cried.
You cried about your wife and children.
I didn't know if it was them or me.
It seemed like a game. An ending game.
All in my head.
All in my head.

I wake up and this is all in my head.
My heart is on fire.
A hearth made of stone. Red pot boiling rose water blooming.
Home. My home among the witches.

I'd rather be sleeping.
I'd rather be dreaming.
You pulled me away with fear.
You looped me into a knot.

I stayed a while.
Looked around.
Unraveled the core.
Carried the excess like a suitcase.

Came back home.
And now I read Spinoza.
Now I see the sky.

... Wake up. 


In the news.... Art Exhibit (click HERE) .

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