Monday, September 5, 2011

Home Home Home

I wanted to share my thoughts on homeschooling. We are giving it another try this year.

I know it's not for everyone and I am very new at this, but this is the night before the first day back to school after summer vacation. I remember the feelings. Anxiety over your children leaving the sanctuary of home. Or the switch in routines. It's never easy. It's not all bad either.

I guess if I could impart one thing about what we are going through as a family it would be this; everyone seems really really relaxed. Not dreadfully mouth-breathing relaxed. Just at ease. I am at ease. Ian is at ease. We are looking forward to the day tomorrow because we've decided to start our school day (such as it is) tomorrow as well. Only it's not a school day, it's a day of learning with mom and dad. Not a bad deal at all.

We've made a plan. It's not a strict plan... I think we are leaning towards the self-guided learning system which is another way of saying our kids will lead us toward what they are interested in. Surprisingly enough, I find that they will devour information pertaining to things they are curious about. They go farther in the learning process on their own than they ever would have in a structured setting. It's just not viable to allow a group of 15-20 kids go off in all directions. There are too many kids needing too many things and teachers cannot do it all, despite what we tax-payers say.

On the flip side of this... I do not get a break from my kids more than once a week--if that. I know a lot of parents who would go insane if this were the case and I think it helps that I am a little off-the-beaten-path myself... or something. Or something. I used to get rather restless about it. But I am more than okay with it now. My kids are my little buddies but we also know how to give each other space. It's pretty neat. I work from home. There is always something to do. Time flies.

I have my days when I wonder if I have what it takes to go the distance. Somehow, though, right around the time I feel that way things start to even out, my sister takes my kids for the night or my husband will have an extra night off... but that is about it.

It's a very quiet and peaceful existence though. I escape to my studio for about an hour a day. Sometimes two if I am lucky. I make naps a priority. I have learned to say no. I have fortified my backbone a little.

As for my really seriously personal opinion: I'll put it like this:

I keep having dreams that I forgot my baby in the hospital after her birth and I want to go back and get her but I can't seem to get there. I keep feeling like the nurses are going to treat me like she is not my baby and I am a thief.


Bring my baby back home where she belongs. That's how I felt when I sent my daughter to school the first day. I fought that feeling for three years. Then, I stopped. That's all I know for sure.

I think I was born to be a mother. This much I know is true

I really enjoy making a home. There... I said it.

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