Saturday, January 28, 2012

A Space For Me

I am a pretty lucky painter in a way... our house is on Main Street at the heart of a bustling little town. In the summer time we have a market at the park next door and a gourmet dining establishment a little further down the path called Fresh Fine Dining (we went there for our anniversary and it was magnificently romantic). The path leading to the park crosses a bridge and then it's a hop skip and a jump to my house. A little pathway could be built right up to the steps which lead to the porch which leads to a door which leads to a room in my house at the bottom of the stairs. It's not a huge room, it's not tiny either. It has two beautiful windows and enough space to be useful. I mean... really useful.

I resurrect my dream... I had such a fire and a passion for my art years ago. I attempted to create a space for myself when we lived in the woods. I thought surely it was a good idea. In hind sight, the space wasn't so bad in terms of a studio. It was horrible in terms of visitors. Traffic was slow (about four cars an hour would go by). It was horrible in terms of weather... cold. Bitter winds most of the year. But, I tried. I worked so hard. I tried to convince myself over and over again that it was a good idea--if only I had the right this or that. I never had the right this or that back then. Now I do. Thankfully!

Well, that dream took a nose dive into oblivion until now. I almost gave up. I never gave up painting (wanted to many times) but it was so hard to have all these ideas but no real outlet for them. I thought for a long long time that an art school would be the key I needed, but that never felt truly right. I didn't need help with my art. I just needed connections. A space with visibility. Stuff like that.

Well since we moved times have changed. Circumstances have changed. I am trying again. I am scared to death of trying again because I feel like my first attempt into the world of public exhibition failed. It didn't fail, though. It was just never truly born.

Today I spent several hours moving books, shelves and other furniture. I hung art and moved a lot of ideas around in my head. I felt like my heart is in my throat, but I did it. I made the first step. It's a faithful little baby step. It's nothing huge. I am not even sure exactly what my plan is but now I have a space where patrons can come to see my work in person. Everything I sell online will be available for viewing here in this little gallery space I am creating for myself. I should be over-the-moon excited, but of course, my inner artist is wracked with doubt. Still, I press on. I don't listen to that voice of doubt even though I do wrestle with it.

My family and I are going on a cruise in a several weeks. I am hoping my battery will get the recharge it needs and when I get home I'll have the courage to open the doors (according to some form of a schedule) and people will be able to see my work and me (ME??) in person if they want to. I am hoping it will be a small tourist attraction. I am hoping for a lot of things. But, right now? I could use one almighty dose of courage because this is not easy. It's necessary for my own good... but it's way out of my comfort zone. It is so important to stretch beyond your comfort zone no matter how badly it scares you.

Here are some photos of the beginning stages. It's a modest beginning but things are taking shape.

Do you think I will find a modicum of success? I hope so. I really really do.

Passion? Ignite thyself. Serendipity, come to me. Boldness and blessings? I need you.

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