Saturday, April 7, 2012

Another Spiel

It's time for Easter eggs and baby chicks and hatchlings of all sorts. I feel like snuggling under the covers until the warm air really comes to us in earnest, though. Easter egg hunts don't hold much excitement for me anymore... but my kids enjoy it very much and so we did our thing... we painted eggs. We hunted for chocolate. Tomorrow, Easter Sunday, we will celebrate the Christian side of the holiday by going to church and having a tasty ham dinner after the service. I have always loved going to church at Easter time. I love to meditate on the resurrection. I went to a sunrise service when I was 19 or 20 and it was so magical. The sun coming up in beautiful rays through the stained glass windows evokes feelings of love, hope, and unspeakable joy. God is so good.

I am proud to announce that, somehow, someway, some of my paintings have made it into the Andrew and Laura McCain Art Gallery which is an art gallery very close to where I now live. I can't tell you how lucky I feel to have this opportunity. I am not having a show there or anything... just hanging some art on the walls. Still, I feel good about this. I forgot to wire my paintings before dropping them off and that was a little embarrassing. It's funny how insecure an artist can feel over such things. I felt like a bumbling idiot for a few minutes... how could I forget that? But I did. Life goes on...

On the other hand, when my paintings return to me I will have a bird's eye view of exactly how galleries such as this one like the work to be prepared for hanging and I will have learned a little something. That, my friends, is exactly how I've made it this far... trial and error and a very keen sense of learning from my mistakes and the grace to allow others to show me a thing or two. I like to think I know everything there is to know but the fact is--I don't. So, I love to learn new things. Especially when it comes to being an artist.

I have been, incidentally, treated with the utmost respect from most people as I go along on this journey of being an artist. I also try to treat people with the respect they deserve as well. But, I will never be good at being in the public eye. I will never be good at attending openings... that's my prediction anyway. I don't know if it is my subconscious playing tricks on me or I just don't try hard enough... but I've been invited to a thousand openings. I've never made it to even one. I do well to make it to my own. Am I a big jerk? Or what?

I received an invite to Donna Smallenberg's opening which happened on Thursday evening at the ALMAG. I was up early that day, I made supper, cleaned the house, built a fire to warm the place up, I painted and I even had a little time to goof around on-line. Everything seemed to be going well and I was biding my time until my husband came home from work. I had grande illusions of dressing up, wearing my new red shoes I bought and everything!

And then?

All my plans went down the drain... Ian hurt his back at work and could barely walk. He had to go to the hospital. By the time he got home, I was too tired to think. Too worried. Too everything. Nothing serious happened. He just pulled a muscle really badly, thankfully. Back injuries are scary!

And for the millionth time in a row, I missed an opening I was invited to. I truly hope that someday I will be afforded a little more freedom because as it stands right now? My life is not my own. If it is not one thing it is another... I never seem to get a chance to do the things I want to do. So many family obligations and responsibilities. It eats up my day. Yes, this is me complaining!

My silver lining in all of this whining is the fact that my son is going to be 11 this month. In one short year he will be 12. By then he should be able to babysit his sister for me and I--fingers crossed--may actually have a life again. A life that includes my own car, too. Maybe. I had my own car once... it was nice.


I bought myself a bright pink gerbera daisy to cheer up my studio and myself (pretty huh?). I have been painting a lot this week. I bought myself a huge amount of art supplies in Portland on the way home from the Bahamas. I have hours and days and weeks ahead of me to just make make make. I guess that's the absolute best thing I could hope for really. That's the real pith of the life of an artist. And I love being a mom and I love my husband more than anything, so I really should just shut-up about it. I am only human, after all.

Happy Easter everybody! God Bless