Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Some Paths Lead to the Dentist
I was at the dentist yesterday. It was a harrowing experience, but I survived. My dentist asked me about my kids, if they got a break for summer. I looked at him like he had five eyeballs. I was almost immediately insulted by the question (that knee-jerk reaction problem again). I reacted strangely because I was having a hard time placing the question. I am not used to talking to other people about about their schooling. I wondered how he knew we homeschool our kids. Then I remembered Ian has been there before with the kids. Duh. Those tricky dentists... Homeschooling is, incidentally, something I feel rather private about because I feel we are still in that "experimental" phase. No, there are no exams. Yes, we test their knowledge... Yes, I love it. Yes, they are learning. Okay. Stop talking now.
So, I realized this morning (after a day of thinking about it) that I am more shocked when I realize most parents DON'T homeschool. I mean, have you seen the FREAKING news these days? Then I clamp down on that thought. Everyone is afraid. I don't want my decisions to be fear-based and I don't want to agitate the parents who don't homeschool because, seriously, I can't tell you what is right for you and I know you can't tell me what is right for me. I am on that path of discovery all on my own. As are you. Personally, I know I am a flake sometimes, I am a very serious flake by times, but I am still very much a flake. Maybe a snowflake. I am an an intricately designed, weightless, gorgeous thing. I love the "flittery" aspects of my life. I live more on impulse, than schedules. Don't ask me how, but it does work for me really well. I bob gently along on a whimsical yet more or less deliberate path. Also, we all love to learn. Every single one of us are passionate about our interests. If we weren't, this would not work. So that's just me and that's just us. Plus, I love having my kids around... I love their squishy faces and their intense conversations and their questions... I could go on and on.
I realize there is a fine line between overcoming an obstacle and being yourself. I choose, very obstinately sometimes, to be myself more and more. I found personal questions asked to me by a dentist to be way out of my comfort zone. Then I realized it was I who put down the fact that I am a little nervous about dentists on my information card. So, they were gently moving the appointment along by trying not to make me nervous. Which, of course, made me nervous. I would have rather gone unnoticed because I still live on the cusp of an intense understanding of old medical practices and new- age ideals. I am used to the bitchy fat-assed nurses who get pissed off at you if you sit up in a chair while in labour. That's the fear I take with me to these medical establishments. But, I go anyway. I have more than a little faith in humanity, so I go. It's just the dentist. I won't be having a baby today or any day from now on, if I can help it. It's all about perspective. I had my teeth cleaned. It was awesome. Everyone was really really nice and I feel much better about my smile today. I won't tell you how long it has been because it's embarrassing.