In an increasingly strange way, I am feeling somewhat adrift as an artist. I have experienced many times, many days, where I thought I would die if I didn't make something, do something, improve something... somewhere.
I don't go through all that junk now. I just sit down and draw. I let my ingrained knowledge of hand-to-brain communication just go to town... Go on down town, Mrs. Brown (if you just read that aloud in a sarcastic tone—congratulations, you fell into my trap). What does it mean, anyway? Why do I continue on trying to say something in a visual context when other modes of communication suit me equally as well? It's an unanswerable question for me today.
Every now and then, I would share a progress report (as it where) about a piece of art that I had been working on. A step by step, if you will. I was, always have been, very fond and proud of my own work. It's true. I just love myself that much. But, there are a lot of self-loathing artists out there who often struggle with that terrible question: is it any good? Well, my attitude has always been this: who the fuck cares?
I look at it this way: there are several types of artists in this world (based on no factual evidence outside of personal observation), as far as I can tell. One is the super-skilled. The one who can really craft something together and you know it's beyond good. It's just art. We don't really question those types. That's their gift, end of story. I am thinking of well-made objects concerning working with the hands. Sometimes I find portrait painting and landscape painting falls into this category as far as painting is concerned. That's one type of artist. I am not one of those. You need years and years of training to be that kind of artist, and that's just not the path I've been on... The second type is the one who has somehow found the balance between making something extremely well while throwing an anomaly of some kind to make it more contemporary, more appealing to a wider audience. This is the stuff you find in privately owned art galleries (and that is not a criticism). That's the second kind of artist. But, that is not the kind of artist I am, either. The kind of artist that I am is the third kind and by the third kind, I mean that there are artists who will just make stuff, left and right, because that's who they are. They will always be making something for their self-satisfaction above everything else. Above sales, galleries, accolades or even bad-reviews, these people will just live within that struggle, come what may. That's who I am. That's what I do.
To further flesh-out the particular type of artist I feel myself to be, I decided to share this drawing of a spider that I made several nights ago. I didn't choose a Black Widow for any other particular reason except that they are stunningly sexy, for an insect. I have never drawn an insect before, but I think I will be doing it again, very soon. I enjoyed this process. I mean... it was like eating chocolate to my brain. So, I decided I would share my progress as I used to do. These photos are snapshots, not much going on there other than the camera just doing its thing... I messed around with the web a bit. Added lines, then took them out and put dots in their place. I messed around with filters, threw on water and messed around with whatever was left of the wet ink from the pen I drew the thing with in the first place. And so on...
I hope you are not afraid of spiders. If so, you should probably not scroll down.