Friday, September 30, 2016

The Artist's Life (Real Life)

"A Mother and Her Newborn"
by Jody Coughlin
Prints available HERE.

The dream for most artists is to have their work on permanent display somewhere, I think. Art galleries are, of course, the first place that come to mind when an artist hopes their work and who they were as they made their work, goes down in history. Well, I don't know if I will ever have any luck with art galleries, especially local ones (maybe they are not discerning enough! Haha! I jest!) but I have recently been contacted by a woman who is authoring a text about birth and how women view and deal with birth and from what I understand (and I hope I am getting the tone of this right, A.H.!) if they survive the editing process, two of my birth-related images will go down in the annals of time within this particular text which (again, from what I understand) will be something like an anthropological type text. And when I say text, I mean text. Text book. This is quite a thing. So, I am quite satisfied to know the birth of my children and the subsequent writing and art that I have been tirelessly making ever since has found, potentially anyway, a place in this world where it will be appreciated for a long time to come. I love that. So, fingers crossed that it survives the editing process. I will say more about that when I know more. And to think... I didn't have to post pictures of myself naked or giving birth all over the fucking internet to be taken seriously on an "educational" level. Ha! The universe does have a sense of humour, does it not?

In other news, my husband has consulted with a surgeon about a vasectomy reversal and it turns out it's not that big of a deal to do if you can afford it. Luckily, we can. So now we are faced with a decision... should we? The success rate is decent. However, the Doctor warned us that we have a low chance of conceiving a baby at our age... so not to get too excited. Well, Ian and I only had unprotected sex three times in the history of our marriage/relationship and we have 2 children. I'll let you do the math on that one... So I don't know. It seems so crazy to even consider. Pregnancy was not easy for me. I had big babies and I am not a very big person, but I was huge when I was pregnant! I don't know. And I am assuming it would be a cesarean birth. I don't know... That's a lot of pain and recovery time. It scares me, I will be honest.

Yet, sometimes, I swear I can hear the faint call of my next child. I swear I can. I swear whoever it is is asking me if I want to meet them. Of course I do, little one. Of course I do. It's just a really really really big adjustment. My husband says he's going to have to reset his entire outlook. He says he has enjoyed being a "playground". Ha! Men. They have it so easy.

My son has officially started dating and we've already had some very serious chats about what to do and what not to do. Right off the bat, I told him if he has to lie in any way to be with this girl, he is not only disrespecting himself, he is disrespecting her. I say this because I know what teenagers can be like. I know what I was like. I know where I went off the rails and I know exactly how and why I was taken advantage of. Over my dead body will my kids be found in the same predicament! So, it turns out, I was right to tell him that right from the start. His girlfriend hesitated to tell her mom and I said they could not see each other at her house until she did. My son didn't really want to address the issue with her so soon, but he bit the bullet and did just that. So, she told her mom. And all parties are aware of the situation and all is well. He's so happy. I am happy for him.

As for my daughter? Well, we sat at the table last night and composed a letter to a boy she likes, but wants to just be friends with. She's going to be 13 in 18 days and she's a lot like her mother, I hate to admit it but it is true. By that I mean she's quick to fall for some very questionable characters! Ha! But, that's okay. We'll work through it. She seems to trust me more now that she's seen my "rules" play out in a positive way for her brother.

This is all very interesting. I am not sure if I am not a bit out of my head to think I need to add a baby to this mix. And at my age?

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