Sunday, June 18, 2017

Matriarch

My Grandmother and some of her children. She had 10 in all, but 4 died in infancy. 
I believe the child on her lap is my mother, Judy. 


My Grandmother passed away on June 16th. I made up my mind years ago that hers was a funeral that I would not be attending because I have dealt with death a lot in my life and in no way, shape, or form do I believe that it will do me good to look at her body now that her soul is long gone. I chose to  honour her in my own way and at home where I can cry in peace. So here I am...

She was the quintessential Matriarch in every sense of the word and I have never known nor heard of a stronger woman than she was. I loved her fiercely and deeply and I have been preparing myself for this loss for a while. I knew the day would come when I would be asked to walk this Earth without her and here I am. I don't like it at all, but here I am. But I am only one of dozens of people who looked up to her, who cared for her, who relied on her for all sorts of things: love, strength, joy, wisdom, and on and on.

Yesterday it felt surreal, today it feels alright. It seems to be okay that my grandmother died because she has so many people waiting for her on the other side and if you knew my Gram at all, you knew she had faith that could move mountains. She believed whole-heartedly in God and told me in no uncertain terms to not cry for her when her day came because she would be united with The Lord and she'd be exactly where she wanted to be. I couldn't begin to comprehend that kind of talk at the time and I certainly could not keep my promise about not crying, but I get what she meant now. She had unshakeable faith and I will honour that as long as I live. So, I am trying to keep a level head. There will be many tears over the year because I will miss her so much. I certainly will. But I will continue on my path, living a life that she would be proud of. I will continue to take care of my family, to adhere to my convictions, and to remember to have lots and lots of fun, just as she taught me.

The part that really takes the sting away is knowing she is with Trina and Trina is with her. And there are others... Karl, Sherry, Scott, my Dad and so on and so on. She's having a good time right about now if I know her at all.

Until we meet again, Gram.

I will forever remain your devoted and adoring Granddaughter.

Ian, Isaiah, Olivia, and I love you very very much.

xo

Jo

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